wedge

Alternate term for wedgie

When I was younger, my big brother used to give me a killer wedge every day. I hate that bastard.

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zesty

nasty-ass canned jalapeno pepper slices

Zesty is commonly found on top of the "nachos" served by concessions stands at sporting events. "Nachos", for the purposes of this definition, is zesty atop edible-plastic "cheese" served from heaters by pushing a yellow button and waiting for the "cheese "food" " to cover the stale chips provided by the company running the concession.

So named due to the prominence of the word "ZESTY!" on the gigantic can from which the archetypal zesty originates. The real brand name of zesty is lost to history, and frankly, is irrelevant.

Emphatic is "zes-tay", or sometimes described by the effects of eating the zesty. See also: explosive diarrhea

Him: Need nachos with zesty!
Me: Regular zesty or two-hands-on-the-toilet-bowl zesty?

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table talk

From partnered card games, discussion between partners of the contents of their hands. Its purpose is to gain an advantage, and is generally against the house rules, if not written rules.

Him: I'm feeling a lot of LOOOOOVE for this game.
Her: I don't have much LOOOVE, but I'd sure like to CLUB you for saying that.
Me: Hey, easy on the table talk, okay?

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mickey mouse

Substandard, poorly executed or organized. Amateurish.

Who's in charge of this mickey mouse operation, anyway?

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shazor

(vt) to totally pwn, dominate, and/or abuse. Implies an excessively one-sided competition, action or event, to the point of gratuitousness. When one is shazored, one's opponent left no doubt as to who was in control. A good shazoring will cause spectators to remember the incident wherein one was shazored more than the events surrounding it.

Derived from Ernest Shazor, a football player at the University of Michigan, and inspired by his last-minute heroics in the game against Purdue University on October 23, 2004.

"Did you see Shazor when he shazored the receiver??"
"I'm gonna totally shazor my thermo exam."
"Bust out the Everclear - I'm getting shazored tonight."

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ninjew

A ninjew is a Jew who has developed some level of skill in jew-fu. A certain amount of strength is also required, as the ninjew may be called upon to stab vigorously. They have been known to wail on guitar or do other things that are totally sweet. The natural enemy of the pirate.

Ninjews are rare and hard to pick out of a crowd.

Facts:
1. Ninjews are mammals, and often hairy to the point of being jewbacca.
2. Ninjews fight ALL the time, except when they're drinking or bitching. A bitch-drink-fight cycle is not uncommon.
3. The purpose of the ninjew is to flip out and kill people.

Ted is wailing on a guitar while he's drinking, and that's totally sweet. You can tell he's a ninjew.

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sucks to be you

An expression of acknowledgement of hardship. Depending on context, can be sympathetic or taunting.

You: My car broke down, and I have to get to the other side of the state tonight!
Me: Damn, dude. Sucks to be you.

Her: I totally blew my interview, and now you're going to get the job for sure.
Him: Ha ha! Sucks to be you!

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