twos

An exclamation made to show ownership of a seat in a room. When getting up from one's seat, proclaiming twos leaves this particular spot branded by the one who was sitting in it until they return. Sitting in someone's seat after having called twos often times leads to both physical and verbal attacks. Twos must be called while still touching the seat and is invalid if called while standing up. In the instance that he who called twos is to take a seat anywhere else, twos is immediately cancelled and the seat is once again up for grabs. Twos is not valid if he who calls it leaves in a vehicle with expectations of getting their seat back when they return. One is allowed to take a bathroom break and call twos without the toilet counting as another seat.

Zack: What the hell are you doing in my seat?

Greg: You didn't call twos bro, the seat is mine!

Zack: Bullshit!

*commence fight to the death*

8👍 37👎

corn spitter

An obscene reference to the buttocks.

Would you look at the corn spitter on that one? I'd like to give that a slap!

Wampire

A cross between an Umpire and a Vampire. They pose little threat to the human race as their only power is calling a baseball game down the middle and they are only able to come out at night.

-Holy shit! Is that a Vampire?

--No dude! I think it's an umpire!

---You guys are dumbasses. It's nothing but a harmless wampire.

11👍 15👎