Shitkickers waltz

The act of sort of ‘shuffling along’ instead of walking properly. Almost as if your shoes are a bit too big for you . Thus resembling someone slightly tamely advancing a relatively solid turd along the sidewalk with their foot or feet . We’ve all seen such half arsed gaits being displayed , mostly by junkies , pissed-up fuckwitts or indeed those individuals that may have in fact , shat in their own clothes .

Dancing the shitkickers waltz

See that lowlife piece of excrement over there , trying to make his way to Lidl , and dancing the shitkickers waltz ?

Fudareeka

A pungent smelling womans gash or “fud”
That can be described as “reeking”, giving rise to her being defined as Fudareeka

See her at the corner of the bar there ,

She’s a Fudareeka

Guinness fart

A Guinness Fart is almost the exact opposite to a genuine fart , and can catch you out after you have consumed a commendable volume of the lovely black liquid .
Having been lulled into a very false sense of safety and security by your own anus , you place your trust in it to release nothing but wind, but horror of horrors , it’s played a very cruel trick on you and will shoot out warm, black , stinking sticky bum treacle of a slightly thicker viscosity than what went in only a few hours beforehand . At this point and usually in the most inconvenient of locations, you have become a victim of a Guinness Fart

I’d only had 9 pints of Dublins finest and whilst walking home I trusted my sphincter to emit some gas which I thought had backed up inside my poop chute . How wrong I was, when the bastard sphincter tricked me with. Guinness Fart and deposited about 4 lbs of BumMolasses directly into my kex . To make matters worse , by the time I’d walked the rest of my journey , the dollop had went cold

Gary glitter faux pas

The unfortunate act of passing comment on the antics of a child or children , which leads to others in one’s company suspecting you of somewhat inappropriate behaviour towards minors

I can’t wait to get me shoes off and join in with the kiddies on that bouncy castle ….

Oh fuck , I’ve just committed a rather embarrassing Gary Glitter Faux Pas haven’t I .

Sorry everyone , I’ll get my coat

skip raker

Definitive description of a resident of Glasgow or anywhere down the Clyde coast to Greenock and possibly even parts of Ayrshire .
Derived from the indisputable FACT that these unsavoury, unhygienic soap dodging bastards will happily rifle through a waste skip to attempt to find discarded articles with which to either furnish their piss stained flat or to find some discarded swill on which they can feast .

Fuckin Weegie Westie skanky skip raker .

She was rooting through the skips behind whateverys looking for shite that has been thrown away

Ronson lighter

Rhyming Slang for Shiter, meaning the anal sphincter , or the cigar cutter, or the old balloon knot, the hoop , the tea towel holder etc . Sometimes shortened to just Ronson , in typical Lindon cockney style

The Ronson Lighter

See that idea of me paying for your electric bill ? Well, you can ram that right up your fuckin Ronson .

Ronson Lighter

Disnaeland

Scottish expression for some of the more deprived areas of the country , such as Wester Hailes in Edinburgh , Most of Glasgow , Mid Craigie or Beechwood in Dundee , Manor or Tillydrone , or Torry in Aberdeen and the entirety of Kirkcaldy amongst others - parodying “Disneyland” and based on

disnae pay the rent

disnae pay the electric

disnae pay the Cooncil Tax

Etc etc

Kirkcaldy - or as we know it , Disnaeland