Shitkickers waltz

The act of sort of ‘shuffling along’ instead of walking properly. Almost as if your shoes are a bit too big for you . Thus resembling someone slightly tamely advancing a relatively solid turd along the sidewalk with their foot or feet . We’ve all seen such half arsed gaits being displayed , mostly by junkies , pissed-up fuckwitts or indeed those individuals that may have in fact , shat in their own clothes .

Dancing the shitkickers waltz

See that lowlife piece of excrement over there , trying to make his way to Lidl , and dancing the shitkickers waltz ?

Dancing with the Queen of New Pitsligo

Courting a particularly dim witted bitch with a horrifically low IQ and virtually zero experience of the world save for what she’s managed to glean from never having left the backwards village of New Pitsligo in Aberdeenshire , Scotland .
A slapper with the cranial processing ability of a fucking rocking horse .

Jesus that girl was virtually brain dead .
It’s like dancing with the queen of new Pitsligo

logging full bore

The act of passing stool of such immense girth that there is literally not a micron of space between the copper bolt itself and the walls of the sphincter

I had definitely eaten too much meat .
I spent a good twenty five minutes earlier this morning logging full bore

Watchmakers Eye

The result of excessive anal straining , following a particularly strenuous session of attempting and succeeding to pass a stool with a girth that exceeds the maximum elasticity of one’s sphincter

Fuck sake , that was a whopper of a copper bolt I’ve just shat out …. My arsehole is sticking out like a watchmakers eye

unmitigated buffoonery

Any situation that could conceivably have arisen , where the sheer scale and levels of uttetrly abject stupidity could not have possibly been predicted or indeed legislated for .

This decision is so preposterously overflowing with unmitigated buffoonery that I may have to go and cut out my own brain .

Can you believe the previously unsurpassed level of unmitigated buffoonery that has led to a committee of horrifically incompetent clown shoes re-electing that fucking cretin back into that position ? No wonder fucking lions eat their young

porcelain French horn

The shitter , the shit pot , the dunny, the chodbin, the shunky, the cludgy, the bog.

Excuse me for a brief few moments Delilah ,

One requires to repair to the Porcelain French Horn to offload a hefty quantity of arse bars

squinting like a wanking jap

The appearance of your face when looking towards particularly bright and sometimes low altitude sunlight .

For fuck sake Gerald put your Ray-bans on ,

You’re squinting like a wanking jap