Dancing with the Queen of New Pitsligo

Courting a particularly dim witted bitch with a horrifically low IQ and virtually zero experience of the world save for what she’s managed to glean from never having left the backwards village of New Pitsligo in Aberdeenshire , Scotland .
A slapper with the cranial processing ability of a fucking rocking horse .

Jesus that girl was virtually brain dead .
It’s like dancing with the queen of new Pitsligo

logging full bore

The act of passing stool of such immense girth that there is literally not a micron of space between the copper bolt itself and the walls of the sphincter

I had definitely eaten too much meat .
I spent a good twenty five minutes earlier this morning logging full bore

porcelain French horn

The shitter , the shit pot , the dunny, the chodbin, the shunky, the cludgy, the bog.

Excuse me for a brief few moments Delilah ,

One requires to repair to the Porcelain French Horn to offload a hefty quantity of arse bars

squinting like a wanking jap

The appearance of your face when looking towards particularly bright and sometimes low altitude sunlight .

For fuck sake Gerald put your Ray-bans on ,

You’re squinting like a wanking jap

PretenderBender

One who fakes homosexuality in order to fit in with a group of genuine queers

See that fucker Monty - ?

He’s a bastard PretenderBender

Calfs Nostril

A particularly wet and drippy ladies front bottom , usually bereft of pubes, that is in a state of expectant imminent receipt of a tumescent male seeding tube .

A fanny like a calf’s nostril

See that sister of hers over there , well her muff was like a calfs nostril for me last weekend so I pumped her full of man fat

thrash the head off the bishop

To be engaged in a particularly enthusiastic session of pleasuring one’s self by relaxing in a gentleman’s way

Bollox to this, I’m off to thrash the head off the bishop