football pool eyes

Descriptive expression used when observing some unfortunate fucker who is so monstrously bosseyed that they have football pools eyes. One home and one away. Can be substituted for Pontoon Eyes, one twists and one sticks, or One on dip , One on full beam .

Did you notice the football pool eyes on that fecker? She doesnt know if its new year or New York , looking thru those fuckers

Ronson lighter

Rhyming Slang for Shiter, meaning the anal sphincter , or the cigar cutter, or the old balloon knot, the hoop , the tea towel holder etc . Sometimes shortened to just Ronson , in typical Lindon cockney style

The Ronson Lighter

See that idea of me paying for your electric bill ? Well, you can ram that right up your fuckin Ronson .

Ronson Lighter

skip raker

Definitive description of a resident of Glasgow or anywhere down the Clyde coast to Greenock and possibly even parts of Ayrshire .
Derived from the indisputable FACT that these unsavoury, unhygienic soap dodging bastards will happily rifle through a waste skip to attempt to find discarded articles with which to either furnish their piss stained flat or to find some discarded swill on which they can feast .

Fuckin Weegie Westie skanky skip raker .

She was rooting through the skips behind whateverys looking for shite that has been thrown away

hamburger shot

Photograph taken of a naked woman’s nethers , from behind when she is lying on her side , legs together - with her beefcurtains squished together and the gash itself sandwiched tightly between them , thus resembling a decently assembled hamburger

She let me take some dirty snaps for the wankbank and I manager to get a fabulous hamburger shot

wankstuds

Warts on the hand(s) of a woman, which will abrade against areas of a gentleman’s nudger, should they be engaging in him receiving manual relief from her .

“Ooh them wankstuds aren’t half stimulating my Bishop , Brenda “

SkatBat

Woman star of fourth rate shit eating low budget movies

That bitch sucks turds , she’s a SkatBat

wave a friend off to the coast

The act of ejecting a chocolate hostage down the chod bin , and flushing him to never be seen again .

Thus ensuring to WAVE A FRIEND OFF TO THE COAST , as he commences his journey to the ocean , likely to emerge somewhere suitably shitty , like say, Lowestoft for example

Fuck sake , I’ve got a turtles head and I’m losing the battle . I really must go and wave a friend off to the coast with some degree of urgency. If I don’t seek solace in an appropriate convenience soon, he’s going to be birthed into the gusset hammock of my Calvin’s