The Medicinal Penis

An excuse given to an unwilling and uncooperative female bedfellow .
Used when she is reluctant to make best use of an urgent tumescent member .

Convince her that the stonker in your pyjamas actually possesses medicinal healing properties and if she would care to suck it or pop it into her love tunnel , then whatever may be ailing the bitch will be almost instantly cured

Imogen complained of several ailments and was cock blocking me for several hours . I did however manage eventually to convince her that 7 inches of throbbing gristle otherwise known as the medicinal penis would be just what the doctor ordered to ease her whining

pingus tooter

A particularly “sticky-out” womans fanny , pouting out so distinctly, that it resembles comedy cartoon penguin Pingus tooting beak .

Holy shit ! The vaj on her was sticking out like Pingus Tooter

snitklinkers

Tagnuts , klinker, dangleberries, snapdarlichs, The irritating hard little nuggets of shite that can result after being left to cook off in the body’s own heat after failing to correctly wipe the anus following a copious but successful sit-down visit

Marjorie had to deal with her elderly father in law after the old cunt fell over in the parlour . He somehow was devoid of suitable trousering and had in addition , become parted from his Y’s She had to then bear witness to a significant quantity of snitklinkers that was fiercely attached to his third eye lashes and would appear to have been so for several weeks

rock poodle

Band Member / Musician who’s hair is styled ( still ) in the voluminous and lengthy perm that was typical of the 1980’s .

See that fucker , Michael Bolton - he’s a right Rock Poodle

spaniels lugs

Very droopy tits , that resemble the ears of a spaniel dog

Fuckin hell Marjorie - your tits are like spaniels lugs

mouse in a telescope

A tampon , prior to its normal use .

Do me a favour Sweetheart , dive into my handbag and bring me a mouse in a telescope , there’s a handful of them in there .
I thought I only needed a piss , but the monkeys nose is bleeding

Dunger-eez

Specific trousers , with strong knee patches , worn by those given to kneeling down and rimming the anuses or dung boxes of others

Yeah ! I’m happy to lick your ring , give me a minute to put on my dunger-eez