post post journalism

(post post ger-nah-liz-em) noun. the situating that occurs when one has the opportunity to watch one’s fatal demise from a position of relative comfort, then having survived the incident one gives an aural as well as visual account of the harrowing situation from a position of relative comfort

Wolf Blitzer: OMG! Look at that plane's fucked up front wheel! How will they ever land it?
other talking head: I don’t know. Let’s watch it all later.
Wolf Blitzer: Now this just in…
Later in Situation Room:
Wolf Blitzer: We now have a CNN exclusive interview with a CNN correspondent who just happened to be on that plane with the fucked up front wheel. Let’s tune in .
survivor/reporter: …So, there we were. We watched our plane going around and around for 3 hours on the tv screens in the backs of the seats in front of us. And we didn’t die in a fiery crash either. OMFG! This is definitely a case of post post journalism.

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courve

cour ve (CORE vah) noun, from Yiddish-1. any not Jewish woman that is a whore, slut, easy, etc
2. any of the above who wears too much make-up and perfume and dresses like a 'street walker'
3. any of the above that a Jewish Mother fears her son might, to the shame of the family, marry; often because she is pregnant

Rose: I know it's none of my business, but is that Eugene with that courve Sue?
Sylvia: Oy Gevalt! Peh! It is...that dirty whore. His lovely mother will have a massive coronary!

Eugene: Ma, what did you think of Sue?
Ma: Lovely girl. Does she work in the circus?
Eugene: Ma...?
Ma:...after all, so much with the make-up. And that perfume! Not to mention that get up!

Ma: (Clutching her kerchief) So, Eugene?
Eugene: What is it Ma?
Ma: It's good that woman friend of yours looks so healthy...
Eugene: Look Ma, she's not 'healthy' she's pregnant and I'm going to marry-
Ma: Oy Vey! Oy Gevalt! A shande on our family! My heart...

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for later

(fore LAY-ter) noun. term for any amount of food wrapped up in foil or plastic wrap with or without a paper plate and given to one by a Jewish Mother for consumption at some point in the future

Jewish Mother: What? You think I'm trying to poison you already!?
Nebbish: No, I loved your kugel. I ate six helpings.
Jewish Mother: It was five but who's counting. Here let me fix you some for later.
Nebbish: That would be lovely. Thank you.

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igged

(igd) v. abbreviation for 'ignored'

Dude: I tried to hit on Sue but she igged me and just walked away.
Other Dude: So?

Chat room dude: If you continue using caps and that huge font you're gonna be igged.
Chat room asshole: FUCK YOU BITCH!!
Chat room dude: That's it. Now you're igged.

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not Jewish

(not JEW-ish) adjective. the catch all phrase used between Yids to classify someone who is Catholic, Protestant, Baptist, Methodist, Athiest, Muslim, etc.

Rose: So, tell me about your lovely friend Sue.
Eugene: What's to tell?
Rose: Well, does she go to Beth Israel Temple?
Eugene: No. She's not Jewish.
Rose: Oy. My heart.

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speed freak

(SPEED freak) n. a drug addict who is always high on crystal or methamphetamine syn: tweaker, meth head, sketcher

Dude: Yo, wtf is up with Sue? Is she always spun?
Other Dude: Fuck yeah man, she's a speed freak.

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crystal dick

(KRIS toll dik) adj. the frustrating condition that often occurs with a man's penis when he wants to engage in sex, or masturbate, but his manhood has been rendered useless because it will not become, or stay, erect because he is high on meth

Tod: Hey Ted, what's wrong with your dick tonight? Do you think it will get hard enough to poke my hole?
Ted: I don't know. I think that I might have crystal dick.

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