Seasoning Your Meat

Putting seasoning (i.e. parsley, thyme, etc.) on your junk before a blow job so it tastes better for the other party

Seasoning your meat:

Hey man I seasoned my meat for jill last night

Like a steak?

Yeah, but not that kind

I bet she loved it

You kidding? She asked for seconds!

7👍 9👎

Chinese Food

Good at first, but quickly filling.....
And quickly emptying......
Death to American bowels!

See The "I need to walk slowly" shit

After eating Chinese food, Tom just made it to the bathroom before the full extent of his Lo Mein noodles kicked in.

11👍 11👎

the "i need to walk slowly" shit

when you need to shit so bad that you need to clamp your ass cheeks together so you dont shit your pants

also accompanied by a V-shaped walk

When the "i need to walk slowly" shit occurs:

After eating Chinese food, Tom just made it to the bathroom before the full extent of his Lo Mein noodles kicked in.

22👍 7👎

Is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Usually said to someone when it appears that they have a boner.

Said to embarass/draw attention to said person

Banana can be replaced with a multitude of things, i.e cucumber, pencil, roll of quarters, mint container, etc.

Guy 1: *walks into room*
Guy 2: Hey is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Guy 1: *looks down*
Everyone: *Laughs*

113👍 37👎

Skinny Jean-Leg Hair Syndrome

When putting on skinny jeans, your leg hair is swept upward. Then after taking your pants off, your leg hair are still pointing up.

Usually return to normal after an hour or two on their own or after a shower.

Sometimes painful

skinny jean-leg hair syndrome

96👍 11👎

Manbreeze

Axe body spray

Bob: Dude, don't go in the bathroom. I just dominated the toilet.
Joe: Manbreeze it, then