LDA

Latter-Day Amish - Someone, typically an older person, who no longer tries to learn new technologies. LDA's can often be pegged to the year they opted out.

Dad won't use a smartphone, he LDA'd in '97.

dooraplegic

Inexplicably locking down one of the two swinging doors at an exit or entrance

Be carefull when you leave if your hands are full. The exit is a dooraplegic.