GOAFAL

Gambled on a fart and lost

I had to get some sweatpants out of lost and found after I had a GOAFAL.

Spanny

Spanish nanny

“The kids’ diapers need to be changed.” Oh leave that for the Spanny and let’s go disco dancin’!”

Drea-mail

When you think you sent an email to someone but it turns out you only dreamt that you did.

Did you submit that report like I told you to Larry? Did I only ask you that in a drea-mail?

Shit-chen

A room in your home where you prepare meals that is also used as a bathroom by resident pets and visiting mothers-in-law.

“Honey, can you throw this rug away? I had a poop accident while preparing breakfast in the shit-chen.” — Mother-in-law who is one accident away from going into a home.