Marooned

When you go to take a shit, and have no consideration that there may or may not be toilet paper available. Bad news, there is none to be found. You think to yourself: do I walk like a crab with my pants around my ankles to find more? Do I flag down a wandering ship to help me out? That towel looks tempting, how desperate am I?

You finish your morning coffee, when suddenly, your sphincter is relaxed and you rush to the toilet without a second thought. The silence is broken, you have come to the realization that you've marooned yourself on shit Island. The toilet has enslaved you, made you a paralytic pooper.

Chicken Slab

A chicken slab is when one has neither a penis or vagina; the region around the crotch looks similar to a plain, fresh cut of meat from a chicken.

When that guy was inches away from getting laid, the girl got a real surprise when she witnessed his chicken slab!