the old man

Your father.

NOTE: While "the old man" refers to your father, "the old lady" refers to your wife or girlfriend, not your mother. Calling your mother "the old lady" is considered disrespectful.

Darth Vader: "Luke, I am the old man."
Luke: "I know you're old. Please stop distracting me while I'm trying to kill you."
Darth Vader: "I didn't say I am AN old man, I said I'm THE old man. As in yours."
Luke: "Oh shit dude, for reals? You're my dad? That's a bummer, considering that you're like the most evil person ever and I've dedicated my life to trying to kill you."
Darth Vader: "I know this must be a tough time for you son. There's a family reunion next week though, and I'd be delighted if you would come with me and meet your Uncle Jimmy and Aunt Susan."
Luke: "Gee...um...dad. I don't know, I'll have to think about it."
Darth Vader: "Ok, I understand. In the meantime, quit trying to bone Princess Leia. She's your sister."
Luke: "DAMN! Glad I used a rubber!"

90👍 10👎

nerd chariot

A Segway motor scooter.

If Eugene keeps rolling around on that nerd chariot wearing that fanny pack, he won't have a chance with the ugliest most desperate girl on the Mt. Holyoke fuck truck.

58👍 10👎

J.J. Evans

A character on the show "Good Times." Also another name for rapper Jay-Z due to his striking resemblance to this character.

"J.J. Evans gettin' gunned up and clapped quick." -Nas, "Ether" (a Jay-Z diss track)

By getting with Beyonce, J.J. Evans gave new hope to all the jacked up looking dudes out there hoping to someday score hot-ass tail.

28👍 10👎

have ass

To be physically attractive; to have an appealing physique. The third-person form is got ass.

"A big fine woman'll make you smile when she pass you
Damn that girl sexy, her mamma got ass too."
-Juvenile, "Mamma Got Ass"

Steve: "Maaan, this party at Wellington's house is going to suck baaaalllls."
Kevin: "Word to your mother. Working for that guy is a bitch. I can only imagine what that old stiff's family is like."
*Ding Dong*
Hot girl: "Hello, I'm Mr. Wellington's daughter Tiffany."
Steve: "BAZOOING! Damn that girl is hot!"
Kevin: "No kidding dude. I didn't expect old Wellington's daughter to have ass like that. Did you see the rack on that smokin' piece of tail?"
Steve: "Hell yeah man! I'd love to give those tig ol' bitties a good motorboating."
Mr. Wellington (having overheard): "Ahem...speaking of having ass, how about you two have your asses out of the office by Monday? You're fired."

18👍 7👎

jenny from the block

A term referring to someone who fronts like he/she is down with the hood but has in reality led a privileged upper- or upper-middle class existence for most of his/her life. Comes from the ridiculous song of the same name by J-Lo, who is a known prima donna and knows next to nothing about life in the ghetto.

Dave (after making shot and getting fouled): "And one."
Kevin: "What?!? Like hell I fouled you on that!"
Dave: "Who cares, man? I schooled your ass anyway. Count it."
Kevin: "Whoa. You better check yo self, dogg. You can't be calling that shit in street ball games. Somebody would bust a cap in your ass. You're lucky I didn't pack heat today."
Dave: "Ha, like you know anything about street ball."
Kevin: "I've been around, man. I used to play in a game where like half of the people were black."
Dave: "Wow. Did you really just say that?"
Bill: "Yeah, I bet you got into some really rough games growing up in that $5 million mansion in Atherton."
Kevin: "Whatever. I also played ball with our landscapers all the time as a kid and they were straight from the barrio, muchachos."
Dave: "Dude..."
Bill: "Give it a rest, Kevin. Nobody buys your bullshit. We all know you're a total jenny from the block."

55👍 19👎

More head!

The rally cry of Morehead State University. Made famous during the 2009 NCAA basketball tournament (March Madness), when Morehead State was assigned to play Alabama State in the play-in game. Does not have anything to do with the "oral sex" definition of head.

(during Morehead St. vs. Alabama St. game)
Guy: "More head! More head! More head!"
Girlfriend: "What? Is once a week or so not enough for you? I can go down on you more if you want."
Guy: "What? I was just rooting for the team. Oh, you thought I meant it in that way? Well, now that you mention it...awwwww right!"

59👍 10👎

debauchery

A dorky word meaning an occurrence of crazy inappropriate behavior, such as an orgy. What it usually means in practice is a night where some drinking occurs and people act slightly less uptight than usual. The kind of people who get involved in real "debauchery" never use this word.

Dwight: "Wow, that physics party was off the heezy for sheezy! I had like 6 beers and we played strip poker and these two girls stripped all the way down to their bra and panties! Such debauchery!"
Ted: "Shut up man - you have no clue. I just woke up next to three hookers in a pool of my own vomit with coke powder scattered all over myself and a new dick piercing that I have no clue how I got. I'll catch you later. I need to head to the doc - it itches. Typical Thursday night."

176👍 170👎