ice water in the veins

A figurative saying meaning that someone is extremely good in the clutch and very cool under pressure.

Norm: "Well folks, we're here on the 18th hole and Tiger Woods is having a great day, putting his balls pretty much wherever he wants to."
Steve: "Yes indeed, he's given a brilliant performance here, Norm. Do you think he's got what it takes to emerge victorious?"
Norm: "Of course, Steve. Tiger is a clutch performer with ice water in the veins. Here he goes to finish up the night."
Steve: "Looking good...oh no! Elin woke up just before he snuck back into bed! She sees the lipstick on his shirt. Uh oh, there she goes looking through his texting history. Oh man, here she comes with the golf club." ***WHACK!***
Norm: "Oooh, great swing mechanics there, but that's got to hurt."
Steve: "Well, that's it folks. Looks like our champ couldn't close it out today, and he could be on injured leave for some time now."

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slap your grandma

A phrase that means that something is so good that you're awestruck by it to the point where you're so disoriented that you might mistakenly slap your grandmother. If someone takes this literally it could at best cause an awkward situation and at worst cause your entire family to fall apart.

"Woo-wee, shut my mouth, slap your grandma!
There oughta be a law, get the sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how'd she even get them britches on
That honky tonk badonkadonk..."
-Trace Adkins, "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk"

Mom: "Everybody, Jimmy was nice enough to cook us this Thanksgiving turkey!"
Everyone: "Yea, Jimmy! Hip hip hooray!"
Jimmy: "Aw gee guys...Mom, why don't you have the first bite."
Mom: (eating it) "WOW I'll be damned if this isn't the greatest turkey I've ever had! Slap your grandma!"
Jimmy: "OK." ***SMACK!!!*** (pimp-slaps her across the face)
Mom: "Well I never! Jimmy, how could you?"
Dad: "Son, get out of here this instant. You're banished from this family forever."
Jimmy: "But but but..."
Dad: "But but but...SHUT UP!!! Get your elderly-assaulting ass out of my house!"

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sandbag

(verb) To screw around or work on other things while you are supposed to be completing a task or working on something.

Bob looked to be a promising hire with his Princeton degree and impressive summer internships. But when his boss checked his internet use log, it was obvious Bob had been sandbagging up a storm: posting daily from work on his "Notorious B.O.B. in da hizzouse" blog and spending an inordinate amount of time on midgetporn.com.

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white fetish

An unhealthy sexual obsession with white people. Similar to an Asian fetish, black fetish, Latin fetish, etc. This is an underreported phenomenon, as people typically make the racist assumption that the white person is the one with the "fetish" and don't think consider that the non-white person is equally likely to have this kind of obsession.

Fred: "Hey dude, did you hear Steve is dating Chun-Li now? Dude must have an Asian fetish."
Chris: "Uhh I don't think so, man. Way to be a racist though. That guy goes for all kinds of girls. Remember, he dated LaShonda, Guadalupe, Ranjita, and Svetlana before that. He's into everything."
Fred: "Yeah I guess that was ignorant of me to assume."
Chris: "I'll tell you what though, it sort of creeps me out how much of a white fetish Chun-Li has."
Fred: "How do you mean?"
Chris: "Well, she moved from Taiwan to New Hampshire and is always hanging around country clubs, plus she told me she finds nothing hotter on a guy than a sweater vest, Sperry top-siders, and Ray-Ban wayfarers. And look at the last few guys she was with before Steve: Blake, Connor, Jacob, and Chadwick. Those guys are all 100% purebred WASPs. Textbook case of a white fetish, man."
Fred: "Yeah, that's weird. Girls with white fetishes are the worst. I hate it when women see me as a sex object rather than a person!"
Chris: "Um yeah...most guys would love that, but whatever floats your boat."

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the jump on

Something that really sucks, is mega-lame, and/or blows goats Reno style. The opposite of the jump off, which means a really awesome thing or event.

Peter: "Wasn't Sean's party last weekend the jump off? I hear you hooked up with Veronica after that. Way to go. Soooo hot, want to touch the heinie."
Robbie: "Yeah the party was the jump off, but you know what's the jump on?"
Peter: "What?"
Robbie: "I think I got the clap!!! It itches. Also I've got some real nasty you know who."
Peter: "Ooooh...Dick Trickle? That's rough, chief. Totally NCAA."
Robbie: "Word to your mother."

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hi hosey

Boston slang for "I call" or "I lay claim to." For example, "Hi hosey the front seat!" is the same thing as "Shotgun!" or "Shotty!"

Hi hosey your little sister's virginity!

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growler

1) A half gallon container that is usually filled with beer.
2) A vagina.
3) A loud, messy crap.

Jake: "Did you go out and get some growler after you drank that entire growler last night?"
Tim: "No, it just made me have to take a major growler. I spent most of the night on the john."

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