hickory shampoo

n. a technique typically used by law enforcement wherein the wooden baton - traditionally made of wood from the hickory tree - is applied on or about the head and shoulders of a deserving miscreant resisting arrest or otherwise needing a lesson.

COP 1: "Last night, some drunk dude wanted to fight when I went to arrest him. Now he's in the hospital getting his teeth re-aligned."

COP 2: "How'd you get him?"

COP 1: "Gave him the ol' hickory shampoo."

COP 2: "Damn..."

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tar butt

n. particularly stubborn fecal matter that prefers to smear, as opposed to wipe-off; results in mass toilet paper usage and multiple flushes

I went through, like, two rolls of TP because I had a serious case of tar butt.

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Detroit Oven

n. Expelling a rancid fart in a motor vehicle, then pushing the "window lock" button, rendering other occupants helpless to escape the malodorous assault; variation on the Dutch Oven

My wife gave me bruises when I gave her a Detroit Oven in the car last night.

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fallout

n. the remaining, un-flushed fecal detritus that refuses to go in the first flush; usually a few flakes or the occasional stubborn dingleberry

My wife gagged when she found my fallout in the crapper after Burrito Nite.

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scarebus

Derogatory name for "Airbus" - a European commercial aircraft company

Unless you have a death wish, don't fly on a Scarebus.

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