Corporate Cosplay

The act of when individuals in a white-collar environment masquerade as sophisticated, hi-powered professionals with dreams of innovation and corporate-ladder climbing.

In reality, they are nothing more than simpering, limp mediocrities with little imagination, over-inflated ambition, endless arsenals of vapid buzzwords and half-baked skills that offer nothing to whatever field or industry they happen to be (undeservedly) employed in.

The only thing they happen to share with real professionals who actually do know their shit, are direct as hell and get things done is their passion for their own business attire. Giorgio Armani, Hugo Boss, or hell, even some cheap-ass suit from Target won't hide the fact that these dipshits are out of their depth and pollute the office environment with their infinite, tedious posturing.

Unlike typical cosplay there ain't no hotties strutting around as Wonder Woman and Black Widow, or dudes stomping around as Thor or Batman here. Only simians with ties and lapels are what you can expect.

"Hey Sean, ready to watch the latest round of Corporate Cosplay in the Marketing Dept. Today?"

"Jesus Christ. If I hear the word 'artisan' or 'paradigm' from those fuckwits one more time I'm going to crack some skulls."