Northern Virginia

The most affluent and educated region in the nation. Generally refers to the Virginia portion of the Washington D.C. Metropolitan Area including the counties of Arlington, Fairfax, Prince William, and Loudoun as well as the independent cities of Alexandria, Falls Church, Fairfax, Manassas, and Manassas Park. Several other outlying counties and cities can also be included such as Stafford and Fauquier Counties and the City of Fredricksburg. Having 2.6 million residents, it is the most populous region in Virginia, the Washington Metropolitan Area, and the Baltimore-Washington Combined Statistical Area. There are literally almost no ghettos or real crime. Do not move to this area if you make under a $100,000 salary or you will be considered poor. It is generally the Beverley Hills of the East Coast because it is not uncommon for 16 year olds to be driving brand new $60,000 BMWs and Mercedes. Mostly everyone is white and has everything they want. The region does not have international status as the most rich and educated due to surrounding jurisdictions trying to keep NoVA under wraps so it cannot become overpowering. People from Northern Virginia are literally better than everyone else.

Bobby: Hey babe. Sup? You look new. Where you from?
Melinda: You're kinda cute. I'm from Fairfax County, VA right outside DC in Northern Virginia. What about you?
Bobby: I'm from Suffolk, VA in the south.
Melinda: Oh sorry we could never date because you're automatically poorer and less-educated than me and everyone else in my area. kthnxbye:)!
Bobby: Oh man you're so right. Sorry for even talking to you. It's a privilege than anyone from NoVA would even grace my presence.

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Lesbian Baptism

A sexual act involving two girls and one guy. The two girls' mouths are filled with water as each one sucks on one of the guy's individual testicles. They should preferably be blondes.

Guy #1: Duuuudeeee remember those two hot chicks at the party last night? I got a Lesbian Baptism from them.
Guy #2: Score!

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SoVA

An abbreviation for "Southern Virginia". Most refer to the Hampton Roads area encompassing the lower Tidewater regions as SoVa. In actuality, SoVA includes regions in Virginia south of Richmond, regardless of east or west direction. SoVA is characterized by high unemployment, poor education, abundant crime, and prime natural disaster territory. It has little creativity due to Northern Virginia previously coining "NoVA" to reference their own area. SoVA is jealous of NoVA’s proximity to bordering Washington, D.C., its affluent status, top-rated schools, extensive transportation networks, etc. For every state tax dollar NoVA residents send to Richmond, only 25 cents return for improvements while SoVA uses the remainder of the money to restore extensive slums that depict urban decay. The most populous cities in the state are in SoVA: Virginia Beach (438,000) and Norfolk (243,000). These independent cities hold more land than most other entire counties. Fairfax County in NoVA has 1,081,000 residents within 407 sq mi. Virginia Beach is a whopping 497.3 sq mi. Under Virginia's State Constitution, when a region incorporates itself as a city, it must be independent from a county. If Fairfax County obtains city status the way former Princess Anne County converted to the City of Virginia Beach, it would stand as the fourth most populous city in the United States. Richmond prevents this because NoVA could make more of its own decisions, allowing later separation from the state.

Foriegn European Tourist: Excuse me, I've noticed that we've landed at an airport in a random area in Virginia to transfer on my way to Washington, D.C.? I was under the impression that I would be flying straight to Washington Dulles International Airport in Northern Virginia.
Flight Attendant: Why would you want to tour D.C. when we here in SoVA have such a large tourism industry?
Foreign European Tourist: Uhhh... SoVA? Where's that? No one I have ever spoken to tours here when there are much nicer coastal areas in the United States and back in Europe. Can you please just help me get to my hotel in Arlington, Virginia up in NoVA as quickly as possible?
Flight Attendant: Well why would you choose to stay in NoVA while touring the capital? Why not just stay in D.C.? We down in SoVA absolutely despise Northern Virginia for no reason except for the fact that we are secretly jealous but won't admit it.
Foriegn European Tourist: Northern Virginia's close proximity to D.C. allows me to experience all the perks of the USA's capital while also allowing me to stay in the most affluent area in the country and relate to locals from that area that have as much class and sophistication as me and a similar, more cultured and educated mindset such as myself.

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