outsource

verb: to make profit by screwing your employees, your customers, and your country while at the same time lowering the quality of the work performed. Highly touted and promoted in articles by authors with Indian surnames.

When she called the unemployment office to inquire about her benefits she was outraged to discover she was speaking to someone in India. The American job had been outsourced.

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tattoo

A permanent drawing on the skin. Intended Meaning: I'm cool; I'm non-conformist; I'm sexual; I'm my own person.

Actual Meaning: I have VD; I'm a true conformist (within the trollop population); I don't care how much worse it will look when I'm old.

I'm tired of being ignored by lowlife men so I'm getting a tattoo on my lower back. I wonder how long before I'll be needing the HIV medication?

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flatulence

Pre-internet Instant Message. Can have any of the following meanings:
"Here's a kiss for you."
"This is MY territory."
"I hate you!"
"Would you care to dance?"

As his rotten-egg-vomit flatulance filled the room, Ajit checked each person's face to see whether his instant message had been properly received. And Ashok smiled back and said, "Why yes, I'd love to dance with you."

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corncob

Once thought to be the source of a medical condition known as "corncobitis", often associated with old age and which is easily diagnosed by the following symptoms:
- slow, deliberate gait
- facial expression of anxiety or constipation
- slightly bent over posture with prominent protrusion of the buttocks

Treatment is surgical removal of the corncob. However, research has determined that in many patients, there is no actual corncob or other foreign object in the rectum and in such cases there is no known cure.

Check out that old geezer. Reckon he's packin' a corncob?

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