Canada's History

A sex act performed by first lubricating a woman's vagina and anus with maple syrup. Then, the aforementioned orifices are spread open with the antlers of an elk. Once the vagina and anus are spread to a diameter of six inches, athletic tape is used to attach the antlers to her thighs. Her partner then defecates into the Stanley Cup, and mixes it with Molson. Once it achieves a consistency of pudding, it is poured directly from the Stanley Cup into both orifices. Both orifices are then plugged with hockey pucks. This step is known as the "Hat Trick." She then stands up, straddles the face of her partner and pushes the pucks out.

I hear Stephen Colbert is into Canada's History.

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