The Jake

N. A Whiny bitch in a group of friends that gets what he considers a girlfriend, but in reality she lives over 1000 miles away and has never seen her in person. And after said "girlfriend" breaks up with him, he whines and cries for days on end till he remembers he only needs his hand so he can at least beat off with it.

Example 1-

Friend 1 : "So how's your ex girlfriend, Jake?"

Jake: "SHUT UP! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND MY PAIN!!!"

Friend 2: "Really? You've never even banged her..."

Example 2- Friend

Friend 1: "Is Jake still crying over that girl?"

Friend2: " No he rediscovered his hand."

The Jake: " I CAN HEAR YOU, YOU KNOW. I'M TAKING YOU OFF MY FRIENDS LIST ON XBOX LIVE NOW! ASSHOLE!!"

*The Jake runs off and cries. Then beats off.*

Friend1: "Wow. What a shame..."

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