Retard

A person with an intellectual disability who has to work millions of times harder for the simple things that we take for granted.

Mike: Is Jimmy a retard?
Carl: Pssh, you know you shouldn't use that word Mike.

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Philosophy junkie

Someone who is addicted to philosophy. This can have both a positive and a negative meaning. It could simply be an enthusiast, or someone who's obsessed with faux self-help pseudophilosophy, which causes them to have a twisted self image and worldview.

I just like watching philosophy videos on Youtube. I'm not some philosophy junkie, I swear!