sift monkey

1. One who's social skills are evenly compared to those of an autistic savant. sans savant.
2. One who's athletic prowess and general coordination resemble a one-armed, one-legged man trying to compete in an "ass kicking while jump roping" contest.

'sift monkey' usually refers to one who constantly employs both of the above qualities throughout his day-to-day interactions. He appears like a monkey that is very inept in his ability to find gold while sifting through the river.

That sift monkey in high school who was caught in the locker room jacking off, while huffing the girl's gym teacher's granny panties.

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