Pearly Sanchez

1) When one ejaculates or masturbates and wipes the resulting seminal fluid on the upper lip of another person in the shape of a mustache.

2) A streak of semen on one's upper lip.

Brian was the first to fall asleep at the party. His best friend Adam decided he would give Brian a Pearly Sanchez. So Adam vigorously masturbated, then took his handful of semen and wiped it over Brian's upper lip. When Brian woke up in the morning he had a crusty mustache and complained about the smell of semen.

John masturbated in the school bathroom catching the semen in his hand. He went out in to the hall and caught up with his buddy Fred. John got the semen on his pointer finger and quickly wiped it across Fred's upper lip and yelled, "Pearly Sanchez" at him. John got suspended from school and is facing prosecution. Fred got herpes.

Frank liked the smell of his semen. So most days before work he would masturbate and give himself a Pearly Sanchez.

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Mississippi brown hole

Secret gay anal sex between a prominent politician or religious leader who publicly opposes homosexuality

Pastor Mark gave a huge speech about the horrors of homosexuality. Later that day he was caught giving the Mississippi brown hole to a gay prostitute.

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anal stickling

When you shove a stick into the rectum of another person for sexual gratification.

"You better watch it, I am going to shove this stick up your ass."
Bert replied, " Hey now, you want to threaten me with an anal stickling you had better be prepared to carry it out, hehehehe."

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intern pincushion

An intern that has been passed around the office for sex. Usually refers to a political intern for a government official.

"Wow, she is hot!" said the gentleman from the Texas representative.

"She's an intern pincushion so have at 'er," his republikkklan friend responded.

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tickanaled

When you tickle someone but accidentally stick your finger in their anus

Billy was tickling Tommy and tickanaled him. Billy kind of laughed, but Tommy felt violated. The rest of us are wondering why they were tickling each other naked.

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brofiver

A person who has to constantly give high fives to others over every trivial success or event. Usually male, and usually a douchedick.

Brock won at rock,paper,scissors and had to go around the room to give everyone high-fives to celebrate his success. Brock is a brofiver.

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Jethro's Law

1) When a school or mass shooting happens in America it will always be by a person that identifies with conservative ideology - Minus Exception A.

2) Conservative media will always attempt to associate the shooter with Bernie Sanders, Hillary Clinton, or some other prominent person with liberal leaning ideology; often quoting the Twitter account of another person with the same name as the shooter.
3) Pictures will exist of the shooter wearing a MAGA hat or draping themselves with a confederate flag - Minus Exception A.
4) If someone stopped the shooter with a gun, conservatives will always complain about the lack of coverage on the news no matter how much coverage the news gives it.

Exception A) Shooters targeting politicians are excluded from the rule.

Mike said, "Did you hear about that school shooting? I bet it was some libtard Antifa that dun' it."
Adam replied, "Jethro's Law, rule 1. He was most certainly not a liberal ."
Mike said, "Horse shit! I saw a Breitbart headline that talked about a post of his on Twitter praising commie Bernie Sanders...."
Adam replied, "You mean from that guy 5 states away with the same name. Yeah, I actually looked the guy up. Two different people. Here, I found a picture of him wearing a confederate flag like a cape and sporting a MAGA hat."

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