Random
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Random
A tight vagina that forms a vacuum seal around the penis, that when the penis is extracted it pulls it back in.
"I was banging Kelly the other day, that bitch is so tight she has a vampire vag!"
162π 9π
What you would call a stupid person to make them feel better about themselves.
Albert said, "Yeah I told him he was a regular Benjamin Einstein. He got a big smile on his face and thanked me."
Thomas said laughing, "So did he really think gluing lube to his hand would allow him to masturbate anywhere?"
"Think it! He had already done it!"
"hahahaha"
179π 10π
Ass crack hair full of klingons from poor hygiene. It resembles a bush with berries on it.
The guy in the porno movie bent over causing the three guys to bust out laughing.
"Look at that nasty berry bush," Ed said.
In a moment of realization, Frank said, "Three dudes watching a porno together commenting on a guys ass is kind of gay."
"Shut up Frank, I see vag!"
164π 9π
This involves two people sitting on the breasts of a third person, typically a woman or large obese man. One person will sit on one breast, the other will sit on the other breast. They will then rock back and forth until one of them falls off.
Jon and Alex invited Rebecca over to play on the teeter-titter
238π 43π
When one consumes too many chicken wings and develops a case of explosive diarrhea. This often requires a change of pants and underwear as the afflicted cannot make it to the bathroom quick enough.
Edwards friend Jacob set him up on a blind date with Ashley. Ashley was hot, and apparently a bit of a whore. Edward knew he was getting lucky tonight. The evening went well, Edward gobbled down about two dozen Buffalo wings. Drank a little, chatted with Ashley. They couple danced a bit in the bar, he was sure he was getting lucky tonight. Then.... his stomach started aching.
"I have a feeling I am about to make some Buffalo Chocolate", Edward said to his date.
Then it happened, Edwards bowels exploded all over the inside of his pants. Liquid shit leaked out of his pant legs and on to the floor.
"Gross!" Ashley said.
Edward, did not get laid that night.
229π 39π
A time in the morning before going to work when one is pooping while debating on Twitter, Facebook, or some other social media. It may also include watching videos or playing games on your cell phone.
Similar to "Twitter Shit."
1) The president enjoyed executive time so much that he often didn't make it to work until 11:00 AM.
2) My boss yelled at me for being late to work. I replied to his complaints, "I have to get executive time in or the day will just be a waste."
40π 19π
When you take a shit and plug the toilet, then come out and state, "Somebody plugged the toilet."
John had to poop real bad while he was at work. He ran to the office restroom and let it go. It was such a relief to let it all out, it gave him a case of the hungry shits. It also packed the toilet. When John went to flush, it didn't go down. John was in a dilemma, so he snuck out of the toilet real quick and ran to find the janitor. "Hey, Ed," John said to the janitor, "somebody plugged the toilet."
Ed replied, "Are you trying to plug and blame again? You did that 3 times this week. You think I don't realize 'somebody always plugs the toilet' just when you happen to need it? Asshole. Do us a favor and shit at home."
12π 1π