republikkklan

The political wing of the Klu Klux Klan. They pride themselves on creating laws that hurt women, calling neo-nazi's and white supremacists "Good People", secretly wearing bed sheets out at night, and pointing to the one black person they could convince to join them and saying, "See, we're not racist"

In 2016 the Republikkklan's got Donald Trump elected president.

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anal arboretum

1) A botanical garden living in someone's asshole
2) Someone who enjoys woody objects shoved in to their rectum

"When I fart, it smells like lilac"
"That's because you have a fucking flower garden in you anal arboretum"

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clam cooking

Another name for vaginal steaming, often done because a person believes it is healthy despite it being very unhealthy.

Despite medical advice, Beth believed her yoni needed cleansing. So she went to an alternative clinic to get a clam cooking. Beth is an idiot.

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Microsoft Excel

Software created by Microsoft that non-technical people use instead of a database, or cheap companies use as a crappy application studio.

We have 6,000 Microsoft Excel files out there that are exactly identical in reference to the type of data they store. It would be perfect for a database, but we use Excel because the web server we store them on is already paid for by another department and we don't want to pay for a database.

Microsoft Excel VBA applications need to die. You will never get a real programmer to stay around if all you want them to do is build VBA applications with that shit because you are too cheap to buy Visual Studio. This may be why your turnover is so high or your developers lack motivation and ambition to do real work.

My shitty job wants me to program in VBScript and Microsoft Excel VBA. I am looking for a new job because I value my skills and wish to avoid Excel hell.

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The Michigan Chicken Salad

Ingredients:

- This requires at least 3 people, two of them males.

- 1 lb chicken breast
- salt, pepper,garlic, lemon, and olive oil
- 1 onion
- 1 small bag of croutons (8 oz)
- 1/4 lb Traverse City cherries
- Lube optional

Take one chicken breast, season with salt, pepper, and garlic. Cut up chicken breast into one inch squares. Heat up a pan with a squirt of olive oil and some onions for about 5 minutes. Cook chicken for approximately 15 - 20 minutes.

One person positions themselves using a wall, or support structure of some kind, upside down with their anus in the air and fully exposed. Place fully cooked chicken pieces into the exposed anus. Add some Traverse City cherries, a squirt of lemon, and some croutons.

At least 2 other males then take turns masturbating into the anus of the upside down person. Let rest for 10 minutes.

Remove the contents from the anus and place in salad bowl, add salt and pepper to taste.

Serves 10.

They served The Michigan Chicken Salad at the barbecue today. Everyone loved it, although it was a bit too salty.

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Pale Putin

Named for Vladimir Putin. It is when a man ejaculates into a second person's vodka, and is consumed willingly by that person.

Donald and Vlad had to attend the party and could not leave. So Vlad ejaculated into a glass of vodka and gave Donald a Pale Putin.

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droopy camel

Camel toe on an old woman.

When an old woman wears tight skimpy shorts or yoga pants giving her a camel toe.

Typical style of cougars and senile old women.

For Gertrude's 72nd birthday party she wore her skin tight leggings to help show off her assets. Maybe tonight she will get that nice handsome boy from the college to come home with her.

She arrived at the party and started hitting on the college boy, making obscene gestures with her lips. When she pointed down to her droopy camel, the college boy threw up a little bit in his mouth.

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