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An attempt, when one is using an automatic touch-free faucet, to prevent the faucet from turning off before one is finished washing his or her hands.
I can't get that touch-free faucet to stay on. I tried all my Faucet Negotiation techniques: I moved my hands higher then lower; I moved my hands closer to the faucet then further; I hit the faucet. Nothing works. I still have some soap on my hands.
When men congregate, they tend to debate facts and events such as sports trivia. With the popularity of smartphones, people have immediate access to unlimited information about facts and events, making the traditional mode of male conversation irrelevant. The result is that men have fewer conversations, preferring joint experiences of technology such as playing video games together.
Me and my buddies used to debate which new models had the most horsepower but now someone always just googles it on their mantalk stop-phone and gets the actual numbers so we stopped talking about it.
An individual who is characterized by an inability, or strong reluctance, to have a bowel movement in any location outside the individual's home.
Why is Grandpa Phil in such a hurry to leave the dinner?
I think he's a Homeland Security Shitter - nature is calling after the turkey dinner but he won't go here so he's in a hurry to drive back to Montreal.
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When someone a dozen steps ahead of you holds the door open and you have to walk quickly so they don't have to wait for you - the result being that it would have been more convenient to just open the door yourself.
Whenever I go into the parking garage after work someone ahead of me holds the door open and I have to do the doorman dash.
When a computer virus or other malware sends junk mail to recipients on your contact list, and a correspondence results between you and someone on your contact list with whom you have not communicated in a long time.
Email 1: Mike? It's me Sheila from law school - long time no speak! I think you have a virus on your computer because I'm getting spam from you. Anyways - how is life going - where are you working?
Email 2: Hi Sheila - good to hear from you and sorry about the spam - what a nice malware reunion! I started my own practice a year ago. Where are you working?
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Situation in which you encounter someone you know - especially someone you have not spoken to in some time - have a conversation then depart, only to immediately encounter the person again, resulting in social awkwardness.
Former neighbours A and B run into each other at the mall and chat for a while, following which:
A. It was nice to run into you!
B. It really was - send my regards to your family.
A. Take care!
Five minutes later A and B run into each other again in the parking lot and smile sheepishly at the awkward post-goodbye hello
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