Brooklyn Beckham

Stupid name for a child with stupid parents. You know the kid will need counselling after the huge amount of bullying he'll receive at school - and that's before the kids remember who his parents are...

"Thank you Mummy and Daddy for not conceiving me in Scunthorpe."

47👍 157👎

manchester united

Everything that is wrong with modern football - with their Johnny Come Lately fans (from Croydon and Essex, mostly), merchandising empire that makes them more money than on-pitch endeavours, and the greatest bunch of cynical cheating scum you could ever cast your eyes on. Also former home to David Beckham and Eric Cantona, if you needed an easy reason to hate them.

Yet they seem to have one major contradiction - they want to sign any player under the sun (not signing a player courtesy of The Sun, as they usually do), yet don't want Malcolm Glazier and his money that would help them do so.

Pedro Mendes from the halfway line.
Ruud van Nistelrooy winning (another) dubious penalty.
Roy Keane trying to end Alfie Haaland's career.
The players chasing the ref around the pitch when they don't like his decision.
Alex Ferguson pointing to his watch for (even) more stoppage time when they're losing.
Another player from a small club being "unsettled" by the sports pages in The Sun, bullying their club into selling him (ie, Dwight Yorke, Louis Saha)

843👍 726👎

takeshi kitano

Quite simply one of the best directors in the world right now, as well as being the epitome of cool in his acting persona, "Beat" Takeshi (taken from his stint in stand-up double act, The Two Beats) in most of his own films, as well as the likes of Battle Royale, Merry Christmas Mr Lawrence, Gonin and (oops) Johnny Mnemonic.

Best known for his Yakuza films (such as Sonatine and Brother), as well as Hana-bi and the truly fantastic Zatoichi - both of which winning the Venice Film Festival in 1997 and 2003 respectively.

Also known for presenting Takeshi's Castle - which makes as much sense as Francis Ford Coppola's Saturday Night Takeaway if you think about it. Not to be confused with the qually brilliant and prolific (if borderline deranged) Takashi Miike.

Zatoichi
Sonatine
Brother
Hana-bi

32👍 3👎

Al Jean

The man who, since becoming executive producer on The Simpsons, has overseen it go from one of the funniest and well-written shows on TV crammed with sharp observations on the minutiae of modern life, to an endless procession of puerile humour, needless celebrity cameos, and the feeling they haven’t done any work on the script after the initial draft before chucking it on TV.

Al Jean will be forever remembered as the person responsible for The Simpsons being an embarassing shadow of its former self.

11👍 9👎

Yard Tard

Derogitory term to describe a backyard wrestler.

"There's more to wrestling than jumping off a roof, you Yard Tard!"
"Get some real training, Yard Tard!"

13👍 3👎

dido

The musical equivalent of beige.

"What's this boring, non-offensive coffee bar crap on the radio? Oh, right, it's Dido."

75👍 143👎

WWA

Wiggas With Attitude - when a bunch of white kids have listened to their Game CDs far too often, and start to believe that they're in some way gangstas. No matter how utterly moronic they look, talk, dress, act...

"Straight outta Croydon, crazy motherfucker named Ice Cream,
From the gang called Wiggaz With Attitudes..."

75👍 41👎