Arlington, MA

A suburb outside of Boston, known for very little. Lexington, MA boasts their historical background, while all Arlington has to show is the Jason Russell House and a Kneeling Native American Statue. The town has also recently been exploited through a recently taped Made episode, as well as Dane Cook's Tourgasm. Dane Cook is from Arlington.

Arlington High School is the clever name of the town's public school system. All the sports teams from the school are known as the Spy Ponders, named after a pond in the town. Unfortunately, there is no high school debate team to carry the name "The Spy Ponderers." Supposedly there is drug problem there. There is no evidence yet that has proven aforementioned belief true. Plus, Prop 2 was passed, so deal with it.

The town itself is overwhelmingly boring, so people usually resort to having drug and alcohol parties as the only form of entertainment. People want an Anna's Taquiera to be built in Arlington, but town officials believe it will suck the quaintness out of the town like a McDonald's or a Self-Serve Gas Station, both of which are not allowed in the town. On a similar note Arlington had a gun store for a long time. It may still be there, but the mystery of the existence of the store is the town's only tourist attraction.

The town is mainly of Irish and Italian descent, explaining why the Arlington Police logs feature fantastic entries such as "a man reported that another man killed him in the back of the leg seven days earlier." However, there is a restaurant called Mr. Sushi that acts as the Japanese Embassy.

Overall, Arlington is a town filled with old people, Dunkin' Donuts, 50 pizza places, a sex offender or two, and a bunch of Irish-Italians. Your typical slice from the American pie.

Arlington, MA is just outside the bubble of sanity that is Boston.

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