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Decolonise

The process of removing excrement from the large intestine.
Alternate meaning: The process of getting rid of misguided left wing woke tossers, who talk excrement all the time

My boss is planning to decolonise our office by sacking all those woke tossers who talk nothing but shit all the time!

by Old Runner November 18, 2023


Supreme Chicken

Chicken breast with wing bone and tenderloin attached. Analogous to 'Supreme Court' defined as a tit with a load of hangers on attached.

I find Supreme Chicken very tasty, but I find the Supreme Court very distasteful.

by Old Runner November 15, 2023


Supreme Court

Is the final court of appeal of the UK and replaced the Law Lords. Due to parliamentary sovereignty cannot overturn primary legislation, but can overturn secondary legislation, if it is found to be ultra vires (illegal). Created by the outgoing Labour Government in Oct 2009 with the express mandate of making the life of all subsequent Tory Governments an absolute nightmare. The only qualification required of the appointed 12 judges is that they be complete and utter wankers.

Appellant A: Do you know which of those Supreme Court judges are sitting on our case.
Appellant B: No, and I wouldn't raise your hopes to high, I'm told they don't know their arses from their elbows.
Appellant A: I guess they'll just lean on their elbows!

by Old Runner November 17, 2023


Supreme Court

Is the final court of appeal of the UK and replaced the Law Lords. Due to parliamentary sovereignty cannot overturn primary legislation, but can overturn secondary legislation, if it is found to be ultra vires (illegal). Created by the outgoing Labour Government in Oct 2009 with the express mandate of making the life of all subsequent Tory Governments an absolute nightmare. The only qualification required of the appointed 12 judges is that they be complete and utter wankers.

Appellant A: Do you know which of those Supreme Court judges are sitting on our case.
Appellant B: No, and I wouldn't raise your hopes to high, I'm told they don't know their arses from their elbows.
Appellant A: I guess they'll just lean on their elbows!

by Old Runner November 17, 2023


Barnett Formula

Introduced in 1979 by the Labour Chief Secretary to the Treasury, Joel Barnett, it is the formula by which the devolved nations, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland, get a disproportionate share of UK tax take. The result is that every year since, English taxpayers have been subsidising the populations of the devolved nations. (In the tax year 2019/20 the Barnett Formula allocated £32 Bn to Scotland).

Englishman in pub: that left wing tosser, Joel Barnett needs a good shagging. Thanks to him and his so called Barnett formula, my taxes are subsidising those tossers north of the border!
2nd Englishman in pub: Blimey I didn't know that, and those SNP freeloaders have the bare cheek to demand independence!
Englishman in pub: yes, and if they do ever get independence, I'll be going up to to Jock land to get my money back!

by Old Runner November 18, 2023