diction

1. (noun; ˈdik-shən) Style of speaking or writing.
2. (phrase; dick shun) The act of abruptly looking away from an exposed penis either out of embarrassment or disgust.

Example 1:
Todd: Did you like the play?
Lisa: No. The actor's diction was so poor I could hardly understand what he was saying.

Example 2:
Todd: I decided to make my move with Lisa last night. After heavy making out, I whipped out my dick and smiled.
Ted: Then what happened?!
Todd: Total diction. What a bummer.

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Double Pinch

A maneuver employed during urination when one realizes, in midstream, that a bowel movement is also needed. The first pinch of the penis cuts off the flow while the pants are unbuckled and dropped to the floor. The second, or the “handoff” pinch occurs after reaching inside the briefs with the opposite hand to continue the pinch, so the briefs can be lowered without incident and a commode employed without delay.

Todd: “Damn!”
Paul (pissing at the adjacent urinal): “What’s the matter?

Todd: “I gotta take a shit right now!”
Paul: Do a Double Pinch. The stall’s empty behind us!”

sphincter recoil

Rebound effect caused by the rapid, involuntary puckering of the sphincter, reversing the forward momentum of an advancing turd perceived to be a fart

TODD: What is that sick look on your face? Is that panic or relief?
ME: Both bro. Sphincter recoil saved the day!

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CUSHION LEAN

The almost imperceptible tilting of the upper body caused by lifting a butt cheek off the cushioned seat of a restaurant booth in order to discreetly pass gas.

Todd: Eww, damn bro! Did you just fart?!
Ted: No, wasn’t me, man! It was the dude in the booth behind you. I saw him do a cushion lean right before the stink engulfed us.

Editorial Buffoonery

The inconceivable rejection a funny, original and often ingenious word, phrase or humorous expression submitted for review to the editorial staff of Urban Dictionary.

Todd: I understand your hilarious submission to Urban Dictionary was rejected. How does THAT happen??
Me: The only possible explanation is Editorial Buffoonery.

uberone

Passenger (usually spouse/significant other) who rides along as chaperone when giving rides for Uber, to keep things from getting "physical".

Todd: Gotta go babe, just got another Uber fare notification !
Lisa: Where is the drop-off point?
Todd: Uh.. the Mustang whorehouse just outside of Vegas.
Lisa: Not so fast, Romeo. I'll go along as your uberone.

boxer blunder

What happens when a guy puts on his boxer shorts backwards. The error is compounded when he fails to notice the error until he unzips his pants to piss after waiting until the very last minute to go, usually resulting in an embarrassing "accident ".

Todd: Why are you holding your backpack over your crotch?
Bill: I pissed my pants, man!
Todd: WTF!
Bill: Boxer Blunder dude.