Rule 96

A rule/life-hack/way of life which states that if you want to make sure you are successful in doing something(like a test or a speech) masturbate before doing it so as not to fuck it up. It is advisable to use this on important things only but works on everything. The only exception is sex.

Guy 1: Hey did you guys hear Jared got yet another promotion. Wonder what's his secret
Guy 2: It was bound to happen, the guy seems to bring it in everything he does.
Wise informed guy: Hehe, long live rule 96
Guy 1: What the fuck is that?
Guy 2: Fuck off weirdo!