Emily

Describing an Emily is a feat in itself, defining an Emily was borderline impossible but as a researcher in ancient humanology and low level intelligent life forms we can finally give a proper definition and a bit more life to the strangest specimen this planet has ever witnessed.

An Emily with blue complexion shines like the sun, except this very shine is the grease of her hair and the ooze coming out of her blueberry pores. Delicate in nature with not a single strand of toughness in her body she stands flabby at 2 feet tall on a good day but the precise scientific measurement is 1 foot, 8 inches. Though she herself is not an Oompa Loompa there is direct lineage to the orange Wonka workers and is believed to be a northern ancestor who harvested Blueberries in Northern China during the dawn of the Ice Age. The blueberry lies at the very core of this creepy creature and without the constant consumption of it the pigment of her skin starts shifting to purple and her body shape molds in the shape of an Eggplant. An Eggplant wannabe; This change has a deep behavioral impact, dumpster humping every dumpster imaginable and eventually shifts into her ultimate rapper form Eminemily which devestated both the rap game and the world, most of the human population now enduring a life with no hearing.

Stop being such an Emily, you're going to make me sick!

IS THAT AN EMILY?! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

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