straight face test

The straight face test is a human bullshit detector. If a lie is so bogus, that it can not be uttered with a straight face, it does not pass the straight face test.

Tim: Did your wife buy that bullshit about how you buying a Harley, because they get good gas mileage for your work commute?

Sully: No dude, she saw right through it; It didn’t pass her straight face test.

foot aficionado

A foot aficionado is the most discerning type of foot fetishists. While a foot fetishist likes many types of feet from cheesy to ashy, the afficinado has an affinity for a specific type of foot, usually older, pampered, Italian, mom feet.

Dude, While you were looking for bikini bottoms to sniff in the bathroom, I fell in love with the sight of that Mom’s perfect feet. Her toe cleavage in that sandal was better than ass crack to me. You know, nothing creepy though.

Ginger Bro: You’re a foot aficionado. That’s sick. Get help.

MBA Catch Phrase Bingo

MBA Catch Phrase Bingo - A series of canned phrases, used by bosses to deflect questions and sound smarter than everyone. Done properly it’s like a magic trick that confuses the masses into thinking the boss answered the question when he didn’t.

Carl: Hey Kyle, Did Lance explain what’s going on with the layoffs during the staff meeting?

Kyle: I asked him and he wouldn’t answer it directly. He decided to play MBA catch phrase bingo with us instead.

He said, “At the end of the day”, “right-size it” and something about “squaring the circle.” No one knows what the fuck just happened in there.

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