MBA Catch Phrase Bingo

MBA Catch Phrase Bingo - A series of canned phrases, used by bosses to deflect questions and sound smarter than everyone. Done properly it’s like a magic trick that confuses the masses into thinking the boss answered the question when he didn’t.

Carl: Hey Kyle, Did Lance explain what’s going on with the layoffs during the staff meeting?

Kyle: I asked him and he wouldn’t answer it directly. He decided to play MBA catch phrase bingo with us instead.

He said, “At the end of the day”, “right-size it” and something about “squaring the circle.” No one knows what the fuck just happened in there.

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Phoneass

A Phoneass is a type of jerk that starts playing a funny video and n their phone that everyone has to watch, just as you are about deliver your punchline to a group.

A Phoneass is easy to spot because they interrupt you and then show you stupid videos while insisting that proper etiquette is for you to hold their phone so they don’t get a cramp in their stupid arm.

Here comes Fat Phil with his phoneass nonsense. He’s qued up some corny bullshit video of a woman farting that sounds like Yoda. He’s been running around with this for two weeks.

Faux Operator

A Faux Operator embraces all of the appeaeances of a military spec ops dude, without ever having served. They wear: 511 pants, long beards, Oakley’s, and Hats with tear away Velcro flags. They can often be found in their normal haunts, at celebrity firearms classes. They often feel that the instructor’s past bio somehow is now part of their resume.

Hey bro, I just went over to thank that secret squirrel looking dude, with the new Sig MCX rifle, for his service. You know, the guy that was talking about Mogadishu all morning. He stuttered a bit, then told me, “he had shin splints in ROTC and he couldn’t enlist.” That dude’s not a SEAL, he’s a Faux Operator; I’m gonna steal his $700.00 Aimpount and piss in his canteen later.