ITALIAN

PROS: Gifted. Literate. Very amiable and friendly. Brooklyn accent. The Yankees. New York. Da Vinci and Michaelangelo. The Renaissance. Italians have the most perfect girls in the world. Ferrari. Lamborghini. Nice tan. HELL YEA the best dark slicked hair. HELL YEA the best food, perfect noses, THE MAFIA. Admit it. You love the mob. We got cousin Vinny, uncle Joey. I'd rather be named "Tony" or "Mike" or "Phil" than Al-Muhammad or Simba or Jorge or Shinequa or Tyrese. Football (that's soccer for you idiots). Descendants of the Romans, the most influential people in the history of ever. YOU OTHER W. EUROPEAN JERK-OFFS WOULDNT HAVE THE CULTURES YOU HAVE NOW IF IT WEREN'T FOR THE ROMANS. YOU MEHICANS TOO, BROTTAS CUS YOU CAME FROM JA SPANISH. AND EGYPTIANS TOO.

CONS: Don Vito from Viva La Bam (what a disgrace to Italians everywhere).

America is blessed to be filled with Italians! Anyone ever had rigatoni with meat sauce and chopped broccoli in a lemon-vinegar sauce on the side. You gotta try that shit.

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