Portland

Oregon's largest city, known for its gay mayor, Sam Adams, and his affinity for teenaged boys, Tonya Harding, and people who like to sit in drum circles (a hippie version of a Circle Jerk).

It's also know for it's higher than average percentage of women who refuse to shave Earthmuffins, tree-hugging, effeminate men, and people who have a genuine hatred of any mode of transportation that isn't public or pedal powered.

Person 1: Hey, I just had a woman with hairy armpits, who smelled of Patchouli ask me to protest the city's lack of funding for people who want to change their gender. They're going to kick the protest off at a drum circle, and wrap it up by singing Kumbaya.

Person 2: Oh, well you must be in Portland, Oregon.

Person 1: Why yes, I am. How'd you know?--Oops, gotta go, I'm getting felched by the Mayor Adams.

27👍 26👎