dovechill arms

Amateur football team all at sea on a big boat; poorly pronounced announcement preceding a police raid.

Announcer: "Would Mr Walrus of the Dovechill Arms please report to the Main Deck please".

cludder

an untalented footballer; a less than gracious description of players possessing slightly grittier or physically intimidating skillsets than others; a phrase employed by the more tactically-challenged manager.

Coach : "I'm keeping the cludders on the bench this afternoon, we'll bring them on if we need a bit of muscle later in the game"

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