Canada's History

'Canada's History' is the nickname for notorious porn addict and namesake of the Stanley Cup, Frederick Arthur Stanley, 16th Earl of Derby (15 January 1841 – 14 June 1908), known as Frederick Stanley until 1886 and as Lord Stanley of Preston between 1886 and 1893, was a Conservative Party politician in the United Kingdom who served as Colonial Secretary from 1885 to 1886 and the sixth Governor General of Canada from 1888 to 1893. An avid sportsman, he built Stanley House Stables large enough to house 3 dozen female moose during their most fertile period, along with "bottomless" maple syrup dispenser and back bacon station, in order to live for several months at a time in the frozen tundra without having to leave the stables. At least 143 of Stanley's "favorite" animal partners are buried under the statue of Lord Derby in Stanley Park, Vancouver, today.

Bob: I was like a one-man army, like Charlton Heston in "Omega Man." You ever see it? Beauty.

Doug: No way, eh. You're more like a one-man hoser.
Bob: Am not.

Doug: You're no Lord Stanley, eh.
Bob: Heh heh. That's fer sure. Ol' Canada's History could scare the shit out of a herd of moose like nobody's business, eh.

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