Steven

(n.) a carnivorous mammal that prefers his food deep-fried with a tall glass of sweet iced tea or a super strong margarita. Offer great advice and support, but only when he feels like it. And often saves the world, but again -- only when he feels like it.

Academically gifted and worldly. Garners the attention and hatred of others by being an over-achiever. Lovably promiscuous. Travels to foreign lands on a whim. Kicks ass when necessary and administers justice to narrow-minded juveniles with a bitch-slap.

Stevens often appreciate good food, good liquor, witty conversation, club music, and hot, sweaty bodies.

Great for a friend. Terrible for an enemy. Approach Stevens with caution (or you gonna get bitch-slapped).

"Hey, what happened to your friend?"
"Oh. He when to Austria to teach people about American materialism, or something like that. He left a few days ago."
"Shit...talk about being a Steven."

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