Saxophone

The most badass instrument ever. This instrument was and still is the source of the gods powers and originated as the physical preservation for a hyper-advanced alien races utopian society but was later discovered to have badass musical and practical properties. For example: a sax can be used as the ultimate chick magnet, opening beer bottles, and for killing that really annoying neighbor. It is also the only object known to mankind that duct tape cannot fix, for it will be incinerated by the sheer raw energy coursing through it and into the player, or should I say wielder of it. You can also leave the discovery of fire thanks to this wonderful instrument, back in the cave ages saxes were held up into a storm to be struck by lightning setting the surroundings ablaze, excluding the wielder. The ancients acquired their precious saxes from the now extinct saxophone tree but are now made in the monumental forge of Hephaestus himself.

Hot chick: so what do you like to do?

Saxophone wielder: all band, all the time.

Hot chick: eww. A band geek.

Saxophone wielder: I play sax

Hot chick: I love you.

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