piss

When a baby gets hit by a car.

Nurse 1: Damn, this is the 5th piss this week!

Nurse 2: and it’s only monday!

shlomburg

shlomburg: when a girl says she’s quirky for something common, such as calling oneself a potato or having a spam account where they post pictures of themselves sticking their tongues out.

Adrian: Hey Erin is such a shlomburg. she thinks she’s so quirky!
Shari: I know! She should cut it out...