conservative rant

Akin to a ministered surmon.

A laborsome, albeit somewhat amusingly skewed compilation of conjecture, misunderstandings, Bible quotes, Fox News "facts", hocus-pocus, psuedo-science and fairy-tales. Usually involving loose, air-borne saliva and the use of a snot-rag.

See liberal rant.

My neighbor wouldn't shut-up about his pastor's town-hall meeting on liberals. His conservative rant lasted two whole minutes. Thank God for the Star Spangled Banner. I thought he'd never stop. My friend and I got back to the game just before kick-off.

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Euro pass

1. A relatively inexpensive travel voucher allowing for unlimited usage of the Euro rail and light-rail systems and the local trolley car and bus routes throughout participating European countries.

2. A uniquely old-world dump an American takes after eating the first and subsequent unpronounceable, unknown European meals. Typically released with the loud expulsion of gas accompanied with turd splatter.

Katie: "Man what was that?... 'burble, burble, burble"

Jill: "I know huh... tasted weird, I couldn't even finish mine... 'splat!'

Katie: "Mom told me to ask for an american menu... 'ploop'"

Jill: "Shoulda listened.... 'kerplunk, burble-platt'"

Jan: "What's the hold up?!?"

Katie: "Chill Jan... We're right in the middle of a bodacious 'euro pass'...!

Jan: "What's that...? Yeah, whatever... Were gonna miss the train... Hurry up, and you better have your Euro passes ready this time!"

Jill: "Man... she's such a bitch. Katie... can you pass me some more toilet paper?"

Katie: "More like newspaper huh?? Here you go."

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