bona lisa

When a really bland looking chick gives you a boner for a some odd reason. At this point in your life you will really stop and think about how low your standards have become..

Me: Dude I don’t know what it is about our 80 year old librarian woman, but damn she keeps giving me a bona lisa.

Friend: I feel like you need to see a therapist my dude

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picking on the fat kid

A nickname for masturbation. Mainly refers to people with fat little chode dicks.

Me: Morning Kory, I assume you were picking on the fat kid last huh?

Kory: Yes, it was like the the eruption of Mt St Helens all over my bed.
Me: LMFAO

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shadowed thot

The hoe over there that hasn't received much of her usual attention from guys even after many attempts. They normally lose attention after becoming too clingy or their might just be new hoe in the building taking up all her business.

"I've noticed that lacey has become a shadowed thot lately. She looks extra desperate today. I'll see you later, I'm going to try and smash."

Laws of the Weinhold

Act of not giving af until shit becomes personal. Then you are physically required to handle the situation by any means fucking necessary.

The 12 law's of Weinhold:
- Fuck her right in the pussy (FHRITP)
- drink protein shakes and beer
- be the party god
- must experience being blacked out at least once
- catch STD's like pokeman
- there are only 2 genders..

- master the theory of the chick magnet
- have sex into your elderly age
- avoid the friendzone like the plague
- Bust a mother fuckers head open if they be asking for it
- lift heavy fucky weights
- make others follow these rules

After my buddy followed the laws of the weinhold he was admitted to a hospital for a month before he died. It was neat

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Jupiter gas

When an extremely fat person's natural scent is enough to disintegrate any fly within 10 miles. No exaggeration..

Natural habitats these smells can be discovered in:
- found lurking through walmart under a fat scooter drivers ass
-found near bleachers under a 2 ton of fun mans ass that is taking up 3 seats at a sporting event.

Cause of death: was trapped in public bathroom filled with Jupiter gas.

Lunar landing

A sexual action that involves a man trust falling onto the back side of a women. As the man is landing he needs to calculate for his penis to enter the anal cavity perfectly. Miscalculation lead to a broken dick. *Not a game for the family to play*

“Bro, I finally pulled off a lunar landing on my girlfriend last night. It only took four painful attempts before I stabbed the moon.”

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scooters of anarchy

The scooter gang of fat bastards that skirt up and down the aisles of stores taking up as much room as possible. These people never really seem to get many items, but rather just sit in the way and talk to other scooter drivers.

I seen the scooters of anarchy on the other side of Walmart blocking the entrances to the lil debbie section. They looked terrifyingly hungry so I dipped out of there before they pulled out their forks to sample me.