Michael Steele Minute

A Michael Steele Minute is destined to replace the New York Minute as the smallest measurable amount of time in the universe.

A New York Minute is defined as the time between a traffic light turning green in New York City and the cab driver behind you honking his horn.

A Michael Steele Minute is defined as the time between President Obama leaving the Executive Office of the President of the United States and the firing of Michael Steele as the Chairman of the Republican National Committee.

Man 1: If I were offered that job, I’d have said yes in a Michael Steele Minute!

Man 2: You and me both!

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eleash

An “electronic leash” such as a cell phone, smartphone, PDA or any other electronic device that allows a possessive, controlling, paranoid, psycho, schizo or bipolar ‘significant other’ to keep in constant contact with their partner, throughout the day, for the sole purpose of harassment or controlling their every move.

R: “I can’t believe that he keeps his eleash turned on. She calls him every minute of the day, just to piss him off!”
J: “He should turn it off and just deal with her when he gets home.”
R: “I guess he’s afraid if he does, she’ll trash all of his stuff, or dump it at the curb. She’s done it before!”

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cash rash

A severe allergic reaction, usually found on the upper thighs or ass cheeks, brought about by any amount of money ‘burning a hole in your pocket.’ The only known cure is to spend every cent of your Welfare check, Social Security check or Paycheck before midnight on payday – no matter what your financial obligations might be. Purchases generally include such low-rent essentials as cigarettes, lottery tickets, liquor, drugs, new release DVDs or CDs. Expenses such as rent, car payments, insurance, clothing or food are not considered to be essentials and therefore are not factored into the equation.

“Ouch! I gotta buy some cigarettes, DVDs and lottery tickets, quick - before I get a cash rash! I had a lot of overtime this week!”

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cruntch

The combination of the words crazy, cunt and bitch. This word is used to describe a girl or woman who has a paranoid, psycho, schizo or bipolar personality (or personalities) combined with vicious, vulgar or abusive tendencies. Most of us know a friend or family member who is dating or living with one.

R: “She gives me the creeps. I never know if she’s going to be nasty or nice.”
J: “Most of the time, she’s a real cruntch!”

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Roll Reversal

The act of flipping a roll of toilet paper around on its holder, so the paper comes off from the back of the roll, instead of the front.

“Man, I spun that roll a dozen times before I realized you had done a roll reversal on me!”

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