An term of derision. In this situation, a woman regularly hooks up with a man who is only interested in casual sex. The man will either explicitly say that he does not want a romantic relationship, or will repeatedly tell the woman that he is ânot sure what he wantsâ- as a way to defer the subject, or to indirectly tell the woman âno.â But the woman naively believes that if she just sticks it out long enough and shows the man how much she cares for him, a proper relationship will eventually begin. In actuality this will never, ever happen. The âhook upgradeâ is the female equivalent of the âgay friendâ phenomenon.
Despite several failures, Buffy continues to believe in the possibility of the hook upgrade.