Niall

I do not like him, he's mean. But he's also very sexy. He makes me cream and cum all at once UwU

"Who's that mean sexy man?"

"Oh that is niall"

*cums*

Jonathan

Jonathan is very cool and not lonely at all.

He is the best at everything and not terrible at talking to people I promise.

He's super super super amazing and cool and not at all ugly.

This is all very true and not one bit of a lie.
I promise.
You can trust me, this is the Internet, you should always trust the Internet.

"Is that Jonathan? He's soooo cool and popular, look at all them people chasing him"