Brandon

The Domestic Overachiever

If there was a competition for "Most Household Tasks Completed Without Asking For Help," the Brandon would win it every year and somehow still complain about not getting a trophy. Their laundry folding skills are borderline magical, and their ability to sweep an entire house without breaking a sweat is legendary. Any attempt to take over a chore will be met with dramatic protests and a side-eye that says, “Really? You think you can do it better?”
They will often remind you that they have done everything for the past 5 hours, 10 minutes, and 34 seconds.

Brandon vacuumed the entire house, dusted the ceiling fans, and put together a new IKEA shelf, all while I was sitting on the couch watching Netflix. He's basically the human version of a Swiss Army knife.