Paturbating

Paturbating is when you masturbate, and look cool while doing it, usually wearing black sunglasses and a leather jacket, with a very straight face.

I'm gonna try paturbating at the mall tomorrow, I just got a new leather jacket

grandma weed

A new age lingo term for weed that looks in any way brown and old.

Mike: Hey do you have any bud?
Ben: I haven't bought some in a long time, all I got is this grandma weed.