Sean’s Law

Another way of stating Murphy’s law, in that, if there is a chance anything good can happen, it absolutely will not come true.

Guy 1: “Bro there’s a chance that my parents are going to be out of town this weekend, I’m going to get a chance to hang out Jessica!”

Guy 2: “Fingers crossed bro, but don’t forget Sean’s law”

Lava Rocks

An STD, transmitted in gay sex, in which the male inhibitor's testicles will start to glow red and will heat up to 700 degrees F, this results in tremendous pain and will eventually cause death.

Man 1: "Dude, I think I might have lava rocks"
Man 2: "Thats like the opposite of frosty balloons, what do you want on your epitaph?"