Think Outside the Brain

A wittier version of the non-innovative cliché "think outside of the box". This sarcastic phrase should not be confused with other idioms such as "use your intuition", "go with your gut", or "process sensory data with your spinal grey matter".

Boss: If you can't think outside the box you'll be downsized.
Employee: Will I get your job if I think outside the brain?

Asswater

1. The pronunciation that many people from Appalachia use when saying “ice water“.

2. Aqueous hydrogen sulfide that smells like rotten eggs from putrefied organic matter in your well or a build-up of the gas in your hot water heater.

Customer: Do you serve Coke products?
Waitress: Sorry hun, we only have sweet tea, Mountain Dew, and asswater right now.
Customer: -looks confused-

Wow, this place is great except for the asswater that comes out of the tap! I can’t wait to bathe in that!

Put me in coach!

A conversation between a man's primary and secondary brain where the later lets the former know he's ready for action.

Coach Willie's team was excited to see the new grass on the field. Johnson stood up and said, "Put me in coach! I'm ready to play!"

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