Vampire

A blood sucking humanoid creature hell bent on destroying mankind. They are not lovers they are murders. Don’t let Hollywood fool you, if you see one do not engage, and for the love of whatever deity you believe in do not welcome strangers in.

“Omg Jason you’re such a Stephan vampire ”
“No think more Dracula type vampire. I only want to drink you”

Doofus

A Doofus is anyone who makes stupid mistake.

You got a C on your math test.
You waiting too long and now you’re late for work.

Doofus.

Sexy

I know why you’re here, so I’ll just “help” you.

Your grandma, your mom, sad movies, breakups. Dogs with missing legs. War veterans. Natural disasters.

Stop being nasty on the internet and read a book!

Your mom is not sexy.

War is not sexy.
Go to sleep!

Nasty

Anything gross. What most of y’all are who use UB to get off. If you’re nasty, go to church.

“That cat food was nasty!”
“Son… I saw your urbandicionary history… nasty!”